My Happy Ending
by THE KYO
Summary: Before traveling back to Konoha after his extended absence, Naruto makes a pit stop in Suna to explain a few things to a certain, red headed, newly appointed Kazekage. M for later chapters.
1. My Happy Ending

**Part I: My Happy Ending**

_'Fair mirror and true! now tell me (for thou canst)  
A tale - a pretty tale - and heed thou not  
Though it be rife with woe.'_

There comes a point in every relationship where it must end, in the time between, one must take solace in the knowledge that the time they spent with another was their happiest and most fulfilling moments. One does not really know the coming of the end until it is really there... there is, however, no justifiable reason that explains the ignorance of the truth... at one point, whether the hearts involved in the relationship accepts it or not, feelings wane and there is nothing left. In some instances the love lasts for years before interest and uniform rituals become tiresome, then signals the time to move on. Other situations calls for weeks, maybe months before the couple finds themselves incompatible in the game that most people so articulately call love.

This case was unique, in a sense, and special above all others.

For, didn't one have to spend a set amount time, factoring hours, days or weeks, to fully comprehend the compatibility of their personalities? If so then how can one tell, immediately that their connection was not absolute enough to say that they will be together for many minutes, discarding, refusing to take into consideration the days and years any simple minded heart could ever wish to obtain with the one they loved. Was it in this person's place to ascertain, after only a moment, that love between them could not, would not be understood and thus never have worked?

Gaara certainly hoped not. In all degrees of seriousness, he hoped the other was joking, he knew the mischievous ways of the boy, he thought that maybe it was not uncommon for him to play practical jokes on the human heart as well. But the solemnity of the others face gave subtle reminders that it was he, Gaara, who had been pulled aside, he who had been forced to endure the mind numbing and nerve wrenching tension while the other found the voice with which to speak his own feelings. It made him smile in the least, even though his mask of natural calm hid it, and hid it well. But what confounded the young kazekage to no end was what the other proclaimed, in a voice twice as shaky as it should have been and filled with more fear than the jinchuuriki would have imagined possible for the blond.

"... But something like that could never work out now." His hand fisted and clenched at his side. "People don't understand these kinds of things really, and I rather not put you through the embarrassment of the petty gossip and gripes from your own people." His voice was decidedly dejected and he refused to look into the eyes of his company, apparently already giving up. In another time, there would have been a moment, a fleeting passing of time in which it was said Naruto could never, ever be discouraged. Naruto would never hold a look of severe discomfort or defeat. Naruto would never, ever give up.

Time proves even the most fool-hearted and stubborn wrong. This, the situation, was one Gaara was having vast difficulty accepting and as he stared incredulously at the person whom, just moments before expressed his intense like - not love, for the feeling was foreign enough to not have been recognised within the Konoha ninja - for the Sand village leader, Gaara entered the slightest state of panic, fear that this was the end, before they had even begun. Naruto waited not so patiently for a reply, pulling at his ear in an absent-minded habit of nerves.

Gaara cleared his throat, searching for the words that would correctly portray his feelings pertaining to the situation. He searched carefully, mind you, wanting to express his... perplexity in a way that would be clear to both him and the blond. He replied stoically, expressionlessly, though a cluster of thoughts and emotions danced within his mind, as always, but he had trained his features to project the opposite of what he was feeling inside: Nothing at all.

"I don't think the ideals of the public should influence matters involving you and me." This was said monotonously... but hopefully. Naruto's eyes softened, matching the tone of his quivering voice.

"It's that same public that you lead, what if their vision of you is shattered? What will they say: The great and powerful leader of Sunagakure shares his bed with... a man? What will become of your reputation then?"

"In case you haven't noticed, my reputation has not always been the most pristine." He said as-a-matter-of-factly, inclining his head some. He continue when the blond had nothing to add to the statement. "It will be as it is now, I know what the people whisper behind their hands, I'm no child, Naruto. People will talk, they did then and they do now, there is not much I can do to stop that; their personal interests and discussions are their own."

"But now, you will consciously be giving them a reason to talk behind your back. What if a rival country were to find out and you were thought to be, gods forbid, weak. What then?" He asked placing his hands in his pockets tilting his blond head to the side, studying the kazekage with his ever watchful sapphire blue eyes.

Gaara faltered, if only a little, but still resolute. "What does it matter? Wasn't it you who said, 'I don't go back on my word', isn't that your nindo? Your ninja way? You claim to have these feelings for me but you contradict yourself in saying we are in the wrong. Why do you doubt yourself? I am fully comfortable and ready to embrace the reactions of my family and village if and when they are to ever find out about us."

"There is no us yet, Gaara."

The kazekage gaped at his companion and, on some levels, friend, hoping that he had indeed misinterpreted the shinobi's words. After the hesitant words of profound affection, this new discovery sent a new shock into his system. He didn't understand, he couldn't understand. How could he, the enigmatic signs the blond threw on the table were gaining more and more in complexity and it was against Gaara's wishes to fully understand their meaning. He sunk into one of the dark brown guest chairs that decorated the front of his office, too weak with confusion to stand any longer.

"What do you mean? ... Then what was that, just now? Were you not proposing that I... that we...?"

"I merely told you my feelings, something I've been wanting to do for a very long time now. I'm saying we have potential, but until I sort out my... uncertainties, there can't be an us."

His last words stung, like the lingering sensations of a fresh burn, it tickled his flesh, causing a nauseous tremble to shake the kazekage's pale frame. Naruto paced forward, closer, so that he knelt in front of the red head, eyes burning with regret.

"Gaara?" He asked reproachfully, watching the others pale, handsome face.

"This isn't fair Naruto, you come here and mock me with sweet words... what high do you get from this? You dangle something worthwhile in front of my eyes while saying I cant have it, I can't help but to feel as if you are taunting me..."

Naruto was stunned, he didn't even think the red head would accept his plea... but worse, he was looking forward to the arrangement. He only had to say so, and he could have the very powerful Sabaku no Gaara to himself, in the most intimate way possible. Both body and spirit. The mere thought of it filled his head with a heighten sense of power that he both praised and mourned. He had wanted this so bad, he had prepared for the worst, but he never believed Gaara would agree - agree and offer to go against his village and family, if needed - to his impromptu proposition. He had it there, in his hands, but his idiocy made it so it was just out of arms reach, although however regrettable, it was necessary.

He was still unsure about things. But one thing was certain, Gaara meant the most to him.

"I'd never do that Gaara!" His eyes begged for the other to understand.

Gaara laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "So you tell me you care for me and that's it, you just walk away? I don't understand, Naruto, please help to understand because this situation is becoming ever more tiresome." His green eyes shone with a weary emotion, Naruto couldn't begin to think what was rambling through the others mind. He smiled hollowly, wishing he could just disappear, if only for a moment.

"I guess I'm not really getting my point across then, huh?" He shook his head, standing as the red head still seated on the small guest chair regarded him with, what he thought was, mixed emotions. "I've never really been good with these kind of things," scratching the back of his head aimlessly, he continued. "I want to be with you, Gaara. Hell, I wouldn't wish for anything else in the world if I could be by you all day, all night... always."

"But..." The perplexed kazekage offered, drowning in the words, but doubting them nonetheless. There had to be something holding him back, and Gaara greatly doubted that it was the fear of ruining his already marred reputation. His business was his own, so what if he chose to accept a male lover; love, as they say, conquers all... it knows no shape or form, cupid is painted blind... yes, love was a deceiving emotion.

"...but, " Naruto began absently, licking his dry lips, Gaara watched his face curiously. "... there are some emotions I need to work out within myself. That's why I didn't come forward to you before, why I waited so long... I want to try us, see what will happen... when I'm ready. Today I wanted to let you know that, I wanted to inform you, if nothing else, you are at the center of my attention, but there are things dragging me away from my focus."

"Uchiha Sasuke."

He didn't have to guess, anyone who knew Naruto didn't have to guess what (or who in this instance) was focused on his mind. No, Gaara did not have time to guess, he knew, he knew very well, and he couldn't help that shimmer of envy that crossed his mind at that moment.

"Has it ever occured to you that we can not all be saved? He is in a dark place, unreachable even for you; had he wanted to return to your village he would have done so a long time ago."

Blue eyes turned icy, reminding the red head of the oceans of the north, spine-tingling and bone chillingly cold. The topic was as taboo as they come, like all discussion that had to deal with Sasuke as the primary subject. He knew he had overstepped his boundary, but he couldn't bring himself to care. How could he? When the absence of said Uchiha was the only thing that kept him away from the one thing he wanted, the only thing, in his mind, he felt he truly deserved.

"I will bring Sasuke back, don't forget that. He may be in the dark, but so were you once and if... if I was able to save you, then I can save him. I have to believe that, I _have _to believe it. Believe in myself, otherwise there would be no point in me trying anymore. Doubt can cripple even the most powerful warrior; when the old pervert told me that, I didn't understand, but I do now. I have to keep focus and once I rescue Sasuke, I will come back for you." His face had gotten closer and closer to the speechless and quite stunned red head until he could feel the others breath on his cheeks. Gaara frowned turning down his lips in calm frustration.

"And I'm supposed to wait?!"

Naruto took a step back at the vehemence in the red head's voice. He spoke cautiously. "Gaara, don't be like that..."

Gaara made a small sound of disbelief, he stared at the leaf nin as if he were some kind of puzzle that could not be solved. And indeed Naruto was a difficult person to understand than Gaara would have hoped. There was nothing before that could have warranted this kind of behavior from the blond, honestly it still made absolutely no sense to Gaara, he chuckled softly.

"I don't know how else to be, Naruto. You're not giving me much choice." He paused to gather the words he needed, then said, "I find it amusing for you to think I will sit and wait for you like some child while you play hide and seek with your precious Sasuke."

Naruto's face twisted into a disappointed frown. "You are first in my mind."

"Am I?" The red head defended, seriously doubting what he knew was going to be the Konoha ninja's answer.

"Gaara..." Naruto stepped forward, Gaara stood.

"Obviously there is someone who has already taken that spot, your mind has yet to focus on your main priority. So I think the best course of action for us to take would be to pretend that this conversation never happened."

This is for the best, he thought. Cut it off now before anyone else is hurt. Stupid Naruto... Why does he have to be so difficult? Why can't he just let things - people - go? Why does he have to be so stubborn? Idiot.

Naruto's brow creased into an angry/confused frown. "What do you mean? What are you saying...?"

"Apparently there is no chance between us until you sort out your feelings for the Uchiha and until you completely grasp what it is that you want from me..." Gaara willed his voice to cooperate with him, but it began to shake with the fresh tears that were now threatening to surface. He bit his lip to keep it from quivering. But he was determined. If Naruto had the gall to do it, then so did he. He was strong, he needed to be, because he felt so helplessly weak as he stood there in front of the Uzumaki. "I want no ties to you." He continued shakily, but still controlled. "It would be better to resume our friendship, because apparently something more is not guaranteed, ne?"

A single tear rolled down Gaara's pale cheek, he moved quickly to wipe it away.

Naruto looked hurt, as hurt as Gaara felt, but he doubted the fox carrier felt the same way that he did. Even that would be solace in his distressed condition.

"I want you, Gaara. All of you." He pleaded.

"And I am not content with only half of you!"

"I..." Naruto didn't like where this was going. He tried to find the right thing to say, something to tell the village leader that he was wrong, that he had him, all of him, since the day they met and everyday after. He stood quiet for a while, studying the bare floor of the Kazekage's office as it swam before him.

"So there is nothing you can say to that?" Gaara misunderstood his silence. In his mind he interpreted the lack of words as confirmation that the boy was only half serious about his proposal. It was a joke. "Why did you come here?" The shaky edge was back in his voice. He didn't want to believe it, but he was given little choice.

"Gaara, listen..."

He shook his head. "I've heard enough." Even to his ears he sounded defeated.

"Don't do this..." The blonde begged... begged, any other time, Gaara would have been happy to jump into his arms.

Not now.

Probably not ever again.

That realization hurt more than the goodbye. Another tear broke through his defense. He was angry now.

"Do what? You were the one who un-did it before it was even done. There is no us, remember."

Naruto gave a heavy, shaky sigh as he too tried to keep the tears at bay. "Yeah, it hurts to hear it like that."

"I'm glad you understand how I feel."

"Then... goodbye, Gaara."

No more words were exchanged, Naruto left, returned to the keep of his temporary guardian, continuing their journey back to Konoha after so long. Gaara, despite his feelings, wished him well. He hoped that he found the Uchiha and brought him back to his senses. That or killed the man for being a traitor for so long. In any instance, he hoped for Naruto's happiness... even if that cost him his.

That week he learned the true threat of the Akatsuki.


	2. Saving Me

**Part II**_**:**_** Saving Me**

_'I _feel_ thou art not gone - yet dare not look,  
Lest I behold thee not; thou _couldst_ not go  
With those words upon thy lips...' _

Death. What comes after. The afterlife. It was a very peculiar feeling... Gaara did not see the bright, luminescent light at the end of the dark tunnel. He did not stand amongst a crowd of souls, counting their coins, awaiting the ferry that would grant them passage across the River Styx. He did not see the fires of hell that awaited him, as he had imagined so many times before.

There was silence, strange, because he was not dead. He was still very much alive, but just so. He felt the cold lick of a foreign chakra tingle his body. Chakra of two different kinds. One was calm and focused - it felt of experience and grief - a soothing aura around it. This energy calmed the kazekage. He felt troubled for some reason, an emptiness was left inside of him that wasn't there before. It was different from how he felt after Naruto had left him behind. This emptiness was literal, as if something was missing, something was taken from him. A part of him that he had lived with for so long was gone now.

The other chakra was laced with something else Gaara didn't understand, something strong and resilient. It was not his, he guessed as much. Alarm suddenly chilled his core, he would have shivered if he could. He could not feel the slightest drop of his own energy. Just how badly was he hurt?

There was darkness, but he was conscious. He felt the weight of the different chakra, and a voice that was silently calling out to him.

_'Please...'_

What could that have meant?

_'Please... come back...'_

Something warm and wet landed on his cheek, the heavy chakra - opposite the kind and calming one - started to tremble, almost as if the user was starting to panic. How long had he been unconscious? Was his condition that serious? Should he be alarmed? Why would anyone care?

He started to remember. He protected the village... But what happened after? Was the Akatsuki member defeated? Was anyone else injured?

Suddenly all chakra flow stopped and, as if he hadn't realized he wasn't breathing, Gaara took a massive breath and opened his eyes to an unfamiliar and slightly strange sight. Crowds of people - his people - the villagers of Suna, were gathered around him, faces filled with concern. He attempted to lift himself up, behind him someone assisted his efforts when he failed to do so on his own. Everyone appeared so worried, however, it seemed as soon as he lifted his green eyes to each of their distraught faces, immense relief washed over their individual visages. Where was he? How had he gotten here? The silent questions shimmered in his mind as he felt the soft grass beneath his fingertips.

His mind whirled, what happened to the Akatsuki member he had been fighting? Green eyes widened and he was about to let his concerns be known, just as a gentle hand landed on his shoulder. His head swung around to warn the owner of the limb of his unfinished battle, but his voice was caught in his throat. His eyes widened more when he realized who he was staring at.

"N-Naruto..." The blonde smiled softly at him. Behind him stood an equally relieved looking Temari and Kankuro. Just beyond them knelt the girl who Gaara remembered had been teammates with the Uzumaki - years before Naruto's training with the Sage Jiraiya, years before the Uchiha's betrayal - an elderly woman lay cradled in her arms.

"Gaara..." The blonde ninja spoke suddenly, bringing the red heads attention back to focus on him. He looked into the teens startling blue eyes and noticed that they were watery. "...Gaara, welcome back." The crowd started to cheer, rejoicing in the fact that their Kazekage was returned to them.

* * *

Gaara couldn't help but to smile a little. To be welcomed back with so many opened arms, it felt good. It was the first he felt that he was needed... or wanted. Was this how Naruto felt? He asked himself as the blonde and his brother carried him back to the village. He leaned on them for strength. He was exhausted, but happy. Besides a few major casualties - including his own - no one was hurt inside of the village and the land of Sunagakure stayed intact. But now, he admitted thoughtfully, he did feel different, without Shukaku he felt empty, but a great burden had been lifted from off of his shoulders.

Much had happened in his temporary demise, all of the details prior to his loss of consciousness were filled in by Temari. Sasori, a former Sand shinobi, had been defeated by the pink haired girl that traveled alongside Gaara's sister. She held the body of the elderly woman, Sasori's grandmother, as it were.

Be that as it may, it was dutifully his responsibility to honor the woman who gave her life to save his; her funeral and memorial would be glorious, he thought silently. It was the least he could do.

Temari also informed him that he owed a great debt to Naruto, who risked his life to return his body, only to learn the truth of his demise upon the red heads retrieval. Later on she would go on to tell the red head - rather emotionally - how broken the Konoha ninja was when they found him void of life inside the Akatsuki member's giant bird-like sculpture. Quietly she would explain that he did everything... -and she could not have stressed this point enough - everything that was in his power to save Gaara; how he left Konoha immediately when he heard that the kazekage had been in danger and rushed to the villages aid.

This information left Gaara confused, but slightly hopeful. His hopes were crushed, however, when the allied Leaf ninja left on the following day, after the closing ceremonies of Chiyo-sama's funeral. Naruto hadn't given him the chance to show his gratitude, he had left with his fellow shinobi. With a handshake and a short goodbye, the blonde was once again out of his life.

It wasn't fair. There were many things he still did not understand. Would the blonde have ran to the rescue if it was any of his other friends in danger? Of course, it was Naruto, he answered his own silent question, staring at the retreating figures of the leaf ninja. Hadn't he risked his life for Sasuke as well? But it was different, the feelings Gaara had for the Uzumaki wouldn't permit him to allow things to continue the way they had been. He couldn't just be friends with the blonde.

He understood that the day he made that foolish promise.

He needed Naruto. Gaara never fully understood that before, but now, after all that has transpired between the two, he got the hint. He could never fully function without the blonde. He could still feel the ninja's chakra energy flowing within him, sustaining life - his life - which was almost so violently stolen away.

* * *

Bed-ridden and still slightly hazy from the events that took place within the last few days, Gaara could not sleep. He supposed a sixteen year old habit was difficult to break, he did not mind it though. It gave him time to think, mostly about Naruto. He had risked his life to save the red head, for that Gaara was deeply grateful, but he just couldn't understand. Was Naruto only living up to his side of the bargain? When he saw Gaara, did he only see a close companion? Did he not care about him anymore?

All the Uzumaki wanted to do was find Sasuke and that was fine with Gaara, he just didn't understand why he had to sit and wait for him to return, to wait for the guarantee that they could finally be together. In his mind, it wasn't fair. It was stubborn of him, but it was also arrogant of Naruto to think that the village leader would still - still... no matter how long it took for him to return - be waiting and willing to accept him when he came back.

Gaara sighed into the night. "...stupid Naruto."

But the blonde had always been so impulsive. He supposed if Naruto wasn't so gun-ho about everything he's ever done he wouldn't know the blonde the way he is now. Perhaps Gaara would still be in that very dark place, still haunted by that voice, the voice that he was compelled to listen to, the one he had to obey in order to feel alive - in order to feel anything. But once the Uzumaki stepped into the picture, that all changed. He began to suppress his inner demon, and it got easier to turn away from the voice that called out to him. Naruto made him feel. He helped him get better, gradually. Because Naruto was there, it had gotten a lot easier. Yet, had the blonde stayed away, Gaara could be dead now. He shivered.

No matter how brave he acted or told himself to be, that thought - the thought of death - scared him more than anything. Before he wasn't afraid to die because - in his mind - he couldn't; he was untouchable and had nothing to lose. That wasn't true anymore. If he was to die, what would Naruto have been left with? He had told him - indirectly - that he loved him. Temari, Kankuro and even Sakura - the name of the girl he finally remembered - had told him how Naruto had cried, _**cried**_ when Chiyo-sama announced that he had been dead. The blonde had been inconsolable, it hurt Gaara's heart to know he caused the boy such pain, though it wasn't completely his fault. He had been doing his job, protecting his village. If he had died, it would have been with honor.

He was lucky to have Naruto there to save him from the dark.

It would have been easier to know all of this information before, Gaara thought. Perhaps then he would not have been so stubborn, perhaps he could have put his pride behind him and welcomed Uzumaki's proposal. He would have been happy to wait, if only he would have said it clearer, sooner. _I love you_.

But all he was given was incomplete thoughts, doubts, half-ass answers. Inconsistencies. Gaara needed someone who he could depend on no matter what, he could not be sure that the Uzumaki would be the one to make sure of that, especially after the things he said. _'I want to try us, see what will happen... when I'm ready. '_

_When I'm ready._

Those words hurt the most. Gaara figured it was because, he would have to wait and he didn't want to. He wanted Naruto, he needed him. Now. Not when it was convenient, or appropriate for his schedule or the blonde's meandering lifestyle.

Suppose he did find the Uchiha and he proposed to bring the male back to the village of Konoha and they fought and Naruto died. What would be left then? Did he not think Gaara would be just as hurt to see someone he cared deeply for die, just as much as he did? The kazekage admired the blonde's valor, but enough was enough. He didn't want the boy to have to learn the hard way...

Somehow, death triggered something in the red head. He knew what it was like, later on the memories of it came back to him. Death was painful, it wasn't tranquil and silent. It was bellicose and traumatic, the pain carries on forever, causing you to forget about all the reasons why you should stay in this world, all the things you don't want to surrender just yet. It gets to the point where you wish you were already gone, you lose consciousness so that your loved ones won't feel the betrayal - feel the want to leave their side, only to escape the pain. With Gaara it was different, there was nothing waiting for him on the other side. He was brought back and into the arms of the ones who loved him so dearly. He had to live with that shame now. The shame of wanting to give up, of losing all faith in life, after forcing to prove his existence time and time again.

Perhaps he didn't deserve Naruto after all, he thought sullenly. It was nights like these when he missed the unbidden distraction of Shukaku's voice. Then he had more to focus on. Now, well... now he thought too much and it scared him, the conclusions he made.

Times like this he wished he did have someone to comfort him, someone to cling to. He would miss the opportunity without ever really experiencing it. He bet Naruto would be a wonderful lover...

A wayward tear slipped past his cheek, landing on the back of his hand. When had he started to cry? Already he mourned things he never familiarized himself with. Was it because it had been the Uzumaki? Before the blonde, Gaara had never imagined himself with anyone. Naruto was the only person whom he felt the least bit compatible. They had so much in common... they even - at the risk of being wrong - felt the same way about each other. He could not have found someone more perfect...

But the opportunity has slipped away from him, Gaara realized despondently.

* * *

"Why. Didn't. You. Stay. Na-ru-to."

Naruto backed away from the girl, his hands up in defense. He hadn't realized she was _this _angry.

"H-he needs rest, Sakura-chan. I di-didn't want to disturb him..."

Sakura tried - very hard in fact - to not hit the blonde in front of her. Backing him into a wall and curling a tight fist into his jacket, the rose haired girl spoke through clenched teeth.

"Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"Is that a trick question...heh?"

Something dangerous flashed in the girl's green eyes, Naruto gulped noisily.

"This is no time for jokes, Naruto!" She shook the boy, slamming his back against the wall of the small building. Curious looks drifted their way, but no one did anything to stop the violent nature the girl displayed. "He was hurt! He looked close to **tears**! Have you no heart?!" Her voice went from angry to pleading.

Naruto looked away from his friend's beseeching eyes. Sakura released him, unfurling her fingers from his jacket. The look in her eyes never wavered.

"I can't believe you, Naruto." Her voice was shaky, heavy with tears. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut.

"Please, don't cry, Sakura-chan."

"I'm not crying, you idiot!" She was angry again. Naruto flinched at the edge in her voice, expecting her to hit him again. When no blow came, he spared a look at the girl. She stood away from him, fist clenched at her side, as if she waited for a reason to strike at the taller ninja. "You need to go back and tell him how you feel." Her voice was calm again, but she still tremble with rage.

Naruto fought the urge to runaway at the thought of what she might do to him when she caught him. Instead he frowned softly.

"But-"

Sakura balled a fist near her face. "Naruto, I swear on the Hokage, if you do not go back and see to Gaara, I will show you more pain than you could ever imagine." The scary part was that her voice never changed, Naruto cringed. He hadn't seen what she did to Sasori, but he heard... he heard...

"I don't even know if he still feels the same way about me..." The blonde whined. When he met with the red head days before, he had been happy to accept his confession, but now, especially since he had shut the Kazekage's hopes down... he didn't know what Gaara felt.

"You have no one to blame for that other than yourself."

Naruto nodded. "What if he doesn't take me..."

Sakura sighed, dragging the Konoha ninja by his forehead protector to the front gates. Suddenly she stopped and lifted his face to hers. "That's why you go and convince him to take you back." Throwing the blonde out of the village quite forcefully - much to the amusement of Kotetsu and Izumo - the pink haired shinobi folded her arms across her chest. "And don't bring your sorry ass back here until you've made him fall madly in love with you!"


	3. No More Words

**Part III: No More Words**

_'Thou askest me if I could speak of love,_

_Knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen.' _

"Kazekage-sama, you have a visitor."

The announcement - though barely above a whisper - woke the red head out of his dreamless state. It had taken some getting use to, but he was finally able to start nodding off to sleep, without any help. He would only doze for an hour or two, but it was time treasured in a life that was only permitted to take minute long naps at different intervals of the day.

The sleepy teenager yawned quietly and looked at the clock that hung on the opposite wall. Who would be calling at one in the morning, he pondered, moving the sheets aside to stumble out of bed.

Upon seeing that the young leader was awake, the ninja that informed the Kazekage of his late night caller closed the door and stood beside it. Not a minute later Gaara walked out, strapping his gourd to his back. He didn't know if he could still use his sand or not, but he didn't feel safe without it.

He looked curiously at the ninja who had awaken him.

"He is waiting for you in your office, Kazekage-sama." Gaara nodded and led the guard down a series of corridors that led to his office, the man waited outside as Gaara stepped in. It was dark, the moon shone brightly outside, giving the village a luminescent glow. In all of the shadows, he barely noticed his visitor, who stood in front of the large window. Gaara's heartbeat stilled.

"N-Naruto..." He cleared his throat, why was his voice shaky all of a sudden? "...What are you doing here?" The blonde didn't turn around, he continued staring out the window.

"Is it true?" He asked quietly.

"What?"

"That you can sleep peacefully now?"

The tone in his voice had changed, Gaara had never heard it before. "Yes." His voice was just as quiet, as if they were any louder, the moment, the stillness between them would be broken. And whatever reason the blonde had come, the purpose of him standing in front of Gaara at that moment would be lost.

"Then I'm sorry." Naruto said, faint laughter in his voice.

"For what?"

He turned around then and smiled at the red head softly. "I guess I woke you up, huh?" Gaara just shook his head.

"Don't be stupid, Naruto..."

Moments passed and they merely stared at each other. Gaara's stomach felt nauseous, as if he were expecting something, like the world to cave in around him. Naruto laughed, breaking the silence that blanketed the two. He moved away from the window.

"Look at us, not saying a word. It feels like the last time I was here I had a lot to say, but now..." he trailed off, still smiling his Naruto-like smile.

Yes, they did have a lot to discuss the last time the Konoha ninja visited the leader of Suna. In fact, those same topics of discussion had been deliberated within Gaara's own mind many times since that day. But he couldn't let that part of him show. He could not let Naruto see him so weak, he still had to save face. He was the Kazekage after all. Clearing his throat, Gaara squared his shoulders.

"You haven't answered my question, Naruto." He said, looking at the smiling ninja square in the eye. The blonde scratched his head, but said nothing. "What are you doing here?" he sighed, still a little sleepy, he craved the warmth of his bed sheets.

"Well... partially because I was threatened... and..."

"Threatened?"

Suddenly, and with deft movements, Naruto made his way over to the red head and stood directly in front of him. Because of the difference in height, Gaara had to tilt his head back a fraction to look the younger boy in the eyes. Naruto stared at him intensely with those mischievous blue eyes, the sand ninja almost melted then and there, but he held his ground, staring back at the blonde defiantly. It felt as if they were staring at each other for hours before Naruto bothered to speak.

"I needed to see you Gaara," He whispered, eyes sad. "I needed to make sure..." He paused to lift the tousled hair out of the red heads eyes, catching a glimpse of the kanji that was carved into the others forehead. "I needed to be certain, that's all."

"About what?"

"That you didn't really die back there - that you are still here - alive and breathing. I was worried about you, you know." He smiled outwardly, but the blonde's eyes told a different story. Gaara saw the fear in them that , he guessed, was there that day.

"I'm fine, Naruto..." But he wasn't, he felt so lost, so empty. Yes Shukaku was gone, but that was beside the point, that door was closed, sealed shut and it was time for a new one to be opened and Gaara believed Naruto held the key. "It's just taken a while to get use to things..."

The blonde laughed. "Yeah, a good nights sleep is a lot different when you don't have some sadistic sand demon there to keep you awake all night."

In spite of himself, Gaara smiled, it was small, but it had felt good. Naruto always had his own way of interpreting things. He found himself staring at the younger ninja's mouth; it was so perfect, he thought. Subconsciously he felt the leaf shinobi move closer, the space around him suddenly invaded by the others presence. The gourd tied to his back thumped clumsily against the wall. Warm breath cascaded against his cheeks, fascinated, he watched the lips move, the voice barely audible to his ears.

"Kiss me..." Naruto whispered, pinning the red head even more, but Gaara shook his head, averting his eyes reluctantly. "...please..." he begged, brushing his lips over Gaara's petal soft cheeks, somewhat surprised to see that there was no sand to block his actions. "Please..." he said again, this time his lips were at the corner of the sand leaders mouth.

Hesitantly and with his cheeks a little more red than he cared to admit at the moment, Gaara turned his face towards the blond, mouth connecting with soft weather chapped lips. He flicked his tongue over the roughness to sooth them a little, only to have Naruto moan suggestively and cover his lips with his own. Gaara gasped in surprise when a warm, wet tongue found its way inside of his mouth. Naruto experimentally pressed the invading appendage against Gaara's own, coaxing him to react.

Gaara was new to this, prior to this interaction, he had never kissed anyone before in his life. Before Naruto he had never been so close as to touch another person... well, in a very long time at least. Slowly, almost shyly, Gaara slid his tongue against the others own, caught off guard by the small noise the blonde made. More tentative exploring, Naruto's tongue moved about Gaara's orifice as if it were his own, ghosting over teeth and filling the roof of the red heads mouth. Another sound, muffled to the Kazekage's ears, was made and he ignored it, too overwhelmed by the blonde's kiss. The heat of it sent his mind into a frenzy of conflicting emotions. He held on to Naruto's shoulder just to keep himself standing.

He wanted - needed - this, but that was only his body's reaction. His mind warned him to save face and hold his ground, the blonde had not mad his decision yet. He did not want to be disappointed later on. He tried to listen - gods how he tried - but every other part of his body was focused on the one holding him so closely. The hands were still, but they held him so tightly against the other that Gaara had no choice but to blush modestly when he thought - which was impressive considering his mind was drowned in deep passion - of exactly what was digging into his inner thigh.

When the need for air was too great, Naruto pulled away , resting his forehead against Gaara's, panting heavily; his eyes were closed. His arms hung limply around the red heads thin waist, not bothering to push himself away. For once, Gaara ignored the voice in his head and kept the blonde close, choosing not to pull away either.

"I'm so sorry, Gaara," he whispered, eyes still hidden by tan lids. His lips moved to kiss the bridge of the red head's nose, then his forehead. "I've been so selfish..." He spoke against the hair covering Gaara's brow, it tickled.

"How?" Gaara asked reproachfully, eyes not really focusing on anything. He bathed in the blonde's presence, silently wishing it would never go away. He only hoped he wouldn't be disappointed.

"Don't ask stupid questions, Gaara." The blonde replied playfully. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Hmmm," Gaara hummed to show his understanding, but realized that Naruto wasn't the only one who should have been apologizing. "Forgive me as well then." He offered, Naruto pulled away slightly to look into his green eyes, confusion in his.

"Forgive you? For what?" He questioned seriously.

"I have been stubborn as well..." Resilient, athletic arms tightened around Gaara's waist. Naruto hugged him tightly, shaking his head in the process. Gaara was bewildered at the sudden action, but he said no more.

"Stupid..." He murmured softly into the others ear. "Hear I am trying to explain how sorry I am, how much I missed you. How I'll never leave your side again, how hard I've fallen for you, and you think _you've _done something wrong. It's all _my _fault, dummy, you don't need to say sorry for the way you felt. It was because of _**me **_that you felt that way."

Gaara couldn't make it passed the part where he said he fell so hard for him. When had that happened? Where was Gaara to witness this?

"So, I tell you what," the blonde continued, still holding tightly to the red head. "I'll tell you how sorry I am every day, for the rest of my life. Agreed?" Gaara sighed.

"You don't need to do that, Naruto. I don't need a life time of expressions of regret."

"Fine then," the Konoha ninja debated. "I'll just spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you. Deal?"

Gaara sighed again, "Naruto, you don't need to-" The words - like a light bulb flicking on in his mind - registered in his brain, so suddenly that it took him a few seconds to completely understand. When he looked up at the Uzumaki, he was smiling down at him. "What?"

Naruto chuckled. "Like I said, I'll say it as many times as you want."

Gaara could have cried. He could have broken down onto his hands and knees and wept like a newborn infant. But he was too happy to do that, the smile on his face was too wide for incoherent sobs, the arms around his waist - tightened by Naruto when the red head threw his arms around the blond in his joy - kept him from sinking to his knees in shocked happiness.

Those were all the words he needed to hear.

* * *

Who said being in love was bliss? Gaara wanted to know, so that he could run up to that person, with the biggest grin on his face, and tell them that... they were absolutely right. Love was bliss. Love was soft kisses and feathery touches. Love was whispered words of endearment and the occasional nonsense. Love was more than a word, more than a feeling. More than just the way you treated another person. To be in love, you had to feel it way deep down in your soul, like he did.

But it did not mean you were free from fear. Gaara worried often that he wasn't good enough for the Uzumaki. That was when the bliss was stolen for a time, when Naruto had to drag him out of whatever haze he had put himself in and remind him. He, Gaara, was the only one that he cherished, the only one that required his attention. The only one he would actually give it to.

Naruto rarely had to tell him, though he promised to utter the sweet words when ever asked, for Gaara to know that he did care deeply for him. His actions said enough.

His hands were gentle as they ghosted over heated, pale skin. His mouth was soft when it brushed past pliable, kiss swollen lips. At that moment, he couldn't feel anymore if he tried. Every languid caress, each methodical kiss drew out his inner emotions and were returned just as enthusiastically.

He mewled softly into the blonde's ear, wishing he would stop his torture, but baiting him to continue nonetheless. Naruto looked at him then, his vivid blue eyes hazed over in a lusty fog. Secretly, Gaara loved that look, he relished in the thought that no one could ever make the Uzumaki look that way besides him.

Blue stared curiously into sea foam green for a few seconds, before Naruto smiled, bright and dazzling. Gaara loved it when he did that too.

With a sheen of sweat misted over his brow, the Konoha ninja whispered, "I love you, Gaara."

Gaara resisted the urge to laugh and say, 'I know', just as another calculatingly slow thrust was angled with his hips. Instead he reached for his lover, arching against his tanned, muscular chest, pulling his face back down. Gods, how he loved kissing those lips.

Though the sand wielder had not been able to say the words before, Naruto had showed him, in more ways than one, how to express his feelings. Spending time with one another, exchanging secrets and past experiences, holding hands, sharing kisses. With looks, words, and actions the blonde had shown Gaara so many ways to say those three special words. The words that made his stomach flutter and his heart do cartwheels when the Uzumaki said it to him.

When he was unable to say I love you, Naruto hadn't been angry or upset, he understood. Amazingly, that had only made the Sand ninja fall deeper for the hyperactive blonde.

Another sensuous roll of tanned hips and Gaara felt his inner walls constrict. Naruto held him tighter just as the red head's body tensed, pushing a little faster. Kami, he was so close...

It wasn't as if Gaara didn't want to say it, on the contrary, he wished he never developed this complex. But situations being what they were, and thanks in no small amount to his betraying uncle, he did not have a choice in the matter. Just like he never had a choice all those years ago. But he wouldn't dwell on those repressed memories. He had Naruto to protect him now.

"Naruto...I-I.....mmm." He reached for the words, but they were still so lost to him.

Naruto laughed, snapping his hips forward again. "Say what you mean... Gaara.... Or shut up... and just... feel." He breathed into the red head's ear.

Allowing himself to feel, Gaara released almost as soon as the blonde finished his sentence. The Konoha ninja found completion soon thereafter, collapsing onto the Kazekage's pale form, nuzzling into his dampened neck. Gaara struggled to breathe; Naruto always took his breath away.

After a moment of finding his voice, he whispered, "... I... want to tell you..." Naruto's head lifted slightly and Gaara was momentarily enchanted by those sapphire orbs. "I.. need to say..." He was hushed by a finger on his lips.

"You don't have to, I already know."

Gaara's full bottom lip drew into a pout, it took a mountain of will to keep the blond from catching it between his teeth. "But... I want you to know how I feel... about you. I want to tell you..."

"I tell you what, keep showing me the way you feel. Eventually I'm sure I'll be able to get the hint." Lifting the elder boys palm, Naruto placed a kiss on the center of his hand.

Gaara nodded mutely. What could he really say to that statement? It was just him, he was so tiny. How could he ever get his message through? Sliding the palm over the boy's sun kissed cheek, dragging his face back to his in the deepest, most sensuous kiss he could deliver, he allowed Naruto to feel the emotions within it. So he decided to stop talking because, he learned, words weren't all that powerful sometimes.

* * *

**Kyo **- Yo, finished. That's all there is, there isn't anymore. I feel like this fic lost it's quality by the third chapter, but meh, I'm still happy with it. At least there wasn't some horribly tragic ending, like how I had planned in the beginning. Now there's only horribly fluffy half smut :D That's something to banzai about! \(OwO)/ _((banzai!!)) _And no, this won't be continued, I hate sequels -.-'...and it doesn't help that I'm bad at doing them. So, I hope you enjoyed this little angst filled ride, I sure enjoyed writing it!


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